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"The Nile or Denial"
Mark Vardell, M.A.,L.P.C
"Every one of us gladly turns away from his problems;
if possible, they must not be mentioned, or, better still, their existence
is denied. We wish to make our lives simple, certain, and smooth, and
for that reason problems are taboo...The artful denial of a problem will
not produce conviction; on the contrary, a wider and higher consciousness
is required to give us the certainty and clarity we need."
C. G. Jung
Avoiding and resisting problems seems to be a human and societal tendency. We live in a age of media, quick sound bites and immediate results so our tendency toward simplification of problems seems to be reinforced. We miss the point that problems and complexities of our living gives us the needed challenge to grow and become. With any personal growth, we must first identify and become willing to discuss the problem or issue before we can begin the process of change. The first step of identifying and acknowledging problems can be a painful process.
As a therapist, one of the functions I have is to talk about the "taboo" in a safe manner with my clients. There are many ways which individuals guard against issues and conflicts which they find uncomfortable. In counseling, this is defined as "defense mechanisms". Among a variety of these defense mechanisms is one commonly known as "denial". Denial is a "conscious or unconscious attempt to refuse some aspect of reality". It reminds of a pun about denial, which goes--"De Nial is not a river in Egypt". In other words denial is real in our interactions, and as human beings we have very sophisticated ways of using denial.
Many times we want "advice" or "quick fixes" once we courageously come to terms with a problem. And certainly given the discomfort and psychological distress caused by a problem, wanting immediate relief is understandable. However it is better to not totally forget our problems or struggles since "quick fixes" can make us more suspectable to repeating the same mistakes. It generally is better to personally explore and understanding the dynamics of a problem before one moves on. Self exploration is life long pursuit. As a society do we support individuals who exhibit the courage to acknowledge their emotional struggles? Can we offer them empathy and encouragement in their work toward resolution, growth and change. Change does not come easily for any of us in any situation. Acknowledging this and, at times, embracing our problems are difficult things to do but are, in many cases, the necessary first steps to improving the quality of our life.
copyright 1994 All rights reserved Mark Vardell
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